


Confessions of a Special Snoweflake

by Ysavvryl



Category: Suikoden IV
Genre: Also has Madame Depression, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 11:42:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9547622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysavvryl/pseuds/Ysavvryl
Summary: Lazlo gets a visitor to his private beach house right as he was thinking of going to see him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [surskitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/surskitty/gifts).



_The strange voice boomed and loomed. “I am the depths of despair; I am the manifestation of all the world’s unhappiness. Everyone who comes under my power will become unbearably sad and horrified. For this is because I am the True Rune of Heart.” The dark crystal shone darkly._

“ _That sounds so depressing,” Madame Depression said. What should she do now?_

-From The Continued Newspaper Saga of Madame Depression and Other Epic Stories.

The writer could have decided on an ending before starting off this serial. Or even a plot. Lazlo didn’t mind that much; this story had a special kind of badness that it was almost good. He’d picked up this book from a passing trader to see if it really had finished. While nearly everyone else thought he was best at reporting news in the Island Nations, Perrault kept insisting that his strength was in writing fiction.

The hammock swayed in the ocean breeze while he continued reading. There were projects he could start on, but all the necessary things were finished now. Since the islands were united now and no major threat was around, Lazlo was free to withdraw from regular society and see about keeping his true rune from going back into the atonement phase. Maybe he wasn’t to live much longer, maybe the forgiveness phase wasn’t trying to consume his life. Either way didn’t matter. He had his beach house now and only had to be responsible for himself.

Though, sometimes he considered going to other islands to see some of his friends. There were plenty of people who’d like to see him again, plenty that he wouldn’t mind talking to again. He just didn’t want to get roped into other big responsibilities. Like now, if he got around too many people, there was a chance that fate could decide the Rune of Punishment needed a new host and find a way to kill him. Still, there was someone he’d like to see again. The island was quiet; sometimes it even felt empty in spite of the lush wildlife.

Lazlo glanced out towards the ocean and spotted a ship waiting out past the shallows. A smaller boat was coming to the beach. From the flags, it was a merchant ship. This island had a few resources they found worth coming out here for provided there was someone to battle the tough monsters native to this place. The last trader had come only yesterday, so he didn’t have much to trade today. Lazlo stayed in his hammock and read the next piece of the serial.

“ _What do you want with me?” Madame Depression asked sadly. It wasn’t surprising to her that the True Rune of Heart was so dark. There were so many things that could go wrong in love and life that it was depressing to think about._

“ _You’re the one who came to me,” the rune said. “I am looking for a worthy bearer. Tell me, what brings you looking for the ultimate despair within me?”_

“ _I did not come looking for you, but it is appropriate that I find you. I have had a very depressing life. I was happy once when I had my husband, but he joined the army and disappeared. Everyone started calling me Madame Depression and my friends neglected me; even my son became disrespectful, losing his love for me and eventually leaving me all alone. I eventually took off on my own journey, but it’s been a tedious grind where I’ve had no luck finding my husband or son. No one wants to talk to me; even the monsters run off when we encounter each other. I used to be wealthy, but this trek has made me poor. Everything has gone wrong and nothing has gone right.”_

“ _Oh dear, that really is depressing,” the rune said, then sniffled. “I am true despair, and yet...”_

That was ridiculous, yet believable given where the story had gone so far. Lazlo hoped it wasn’t going to try romanticizing the true runes. From stories he’d heard and his own experiences with the True Rune of Punishment, acquiring a true rune was a curse far more than any blessings it brought. Perrault should have known that.

A familiar voice then called over, “Lazlo? Are you here?”

Well that was someone he was thinking of leaving the island to visit, so this saved him some trouble. “Right here, Snowe,” he said, sitting up to get his bookmark. “It’s been a while.”

He nodded. Snowe was dressed less elaborately that he used to; it wasn’t as obvious he was from a noble family. “Yeah. I wanted to check up on you. I kept thinking you wanted to be left alone, so I should keep out. But I was worried about you, so I hope it’s all right that I came.”

“It’s fine,” Lazlo said, getting out of the hammock and setting his book aside. Then he noticed something out at sea. “I’ve got my home set up and all the basics handled. Been just fine so far. And your ship seems to be leaving.”

Snowe didn’t look worried about that. “I just caught a ride from them.”

Good, it wasn’t Snowe being left behind by those using him again. “Gotcha. How’ve you been doing?”

“All right.” He rubbed his head. “The people of Razril don’t want to recognize my family as nobility anymore, but I’m good with that. I’ve found ways to make a living, mostly hunting monsters for people. But as I had time, I thought about what all has gone on. I did so much against you and you were always open to accepting me in spite of it all. So, I, well,” he seemed embarrassed.

“Snowe?” Then he did love him too. Lazlo had wondered about that for a long time, but didn’t want to break what they had. Although that did lead to potential trouble in the future. But he was starting to miss being around people and he was more confident in that Snowe could handle things now.

“Sorry,” he said. “I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to say to make it great.”

Might as well give him a chance to say it. “It’s fine, what is it?”

“I’ll try something else,” Snowe said to himself. “Hey, this is an auspicious reunion which I have been looking forward to for a long long time. Do you mind if I stay with you a while?”

“I can’t say no when that ship is leaving,” Lazlo said.

“Well, that’s true,” he said, sounding disappointed. “I don’t think that was any better.”

“You could just say what you want,” he said.

“But I don’t want this to sound silly,” Snowe said. “Hey, could I start this over? Just go back to what you were doing.”

“All right,” Lazlo said. He had a feeling this would be sillier. One more chance, though, then he’d speak up. For now, he sat back on the hammock and opened the book again.

_The rune changed then, from a dark blue into a pale pink. “I am both despair and hope,” the rune said. “You have some hope to keep going when so much is against you. If you can foster enough hope to change me, I will be able to change your fortunes.”_

“ _I did not think I held much hope, but perhaps I have,” Madame Depression said._

“ _Hope can survive great darkness, please find it.”_

Well this was going to turn cheesy. Though that wasn’t bad, not after all the depressing things kept getting dragged out. Lazlo wondered if someone had suggested this; the story had improved some when it started using a more varied vocabulary. It even made sense given his experience with a true rune.

“Hey, Lazlo, you’re looking good today,” Snowe said, trying to sound suave and not quite making it.

He set his book in his lap and immediately noticed that his friend had changed one thing. He was also still nervous, although most people wouldn’t see that because they didn’t know him like Lazlo did. “You still have that?” he asked.

“Uh, well it’s a rebellious and wild kind of thing,” he said, not seeming much like a ‘rebellious and wild’ person. “Right?”

Lazlo shook his head. “I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others, but it looks like a collar you’d put on a dog to keep them tied up.”

“Really? The guy said it was popular with pirates who were serious.” He sighed. “Though they did abandon me not long after that. I did not want this to turn embarrassing.” Thankfully, he took the collar choker off then.

“Why would you worry about being embarrassing in front of me?” he asked, getting up to look out towards the beach. “There’s nobody else here, save for the crabs and other monsters.”

“Well I wanted to impress you, because, uh...” he was making things more complicated than they needed to be. Lazlo didn’t hold it against him, knowing that he’d been reluctant to speak up about it too. “Sorry.”

Turning back to him, Lazlo replied, “You don’t have to impress me. You remember that time we kissed?”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about that,” Snowe said, relieved that he didn’t have to be the one to bring that up.

“We said we weren’t going to tell anyone else about it,” Lazlo said. It had started with a dare from a friend of theirs, which they had shut down and got the game ended before things got too carried away. The academy had strict rules when it came to students dating or similar activities. But later on when they’d been alone in Lazlo’s room, the dare came back up and they went ahead and tried it. “I certainly haven’t forgotten about it.”

Snowe nodded in agreement. “Right. I kept feeling like it was a missed opportunity. But then that rune showed up.”

Lazlo rubbed his hands together. It wasn’t going to come off easily, maybe not until he died. “Uh-huh.”

“For a while, I thought you had to hate me. But then you were always trying to reach out to me and help me. I’m sorry I never acknowledged that before, but I was ashamed and, well, a lot was going on. Once the war was over, I tried to find a normal life for myself. But I felt guilty about leaving you on your own out here, even if it was your choice. I missed you so much, so I thought maybe, the chance wasn’t lost at all.”

“The rune wanted me to kill you,” Lazlo told him. “And a lot of others; its voice was vindictive. But when it tried to punish you through me, I was able to learn its voice among my thoughts and resist it. You weren’t the only one who helped with that; hope lights the way out of despair, forgiveness frees the weight of atonement. I love you and that was one of the strongest reasons I was saved from the Rune of Punishment here.”

“Lazlo,” Snowe said, embarrassed again. But his smile was bright.

“So you don’t have to impress me,” he continued. “I’ve seen you grow into a better person and I’m happy with that. I just wasn’t sure if you felt the same way; I should have kept contact with you better, I’m sorry about that.”

“I love you too Lazlo,” he said, looking at him eye to eye now. “I was worried the same way, so I thought I had to make this memorable or something. Guess all we had to do was come out and say it, huh?” He shrugged.

“I’m glad you came,” Lazlo said, giving him a hug.

* * *

Lazlo was more talkative than he had been for years. He also seemed happier than he had been before he’d made a hermit of himself. Although he probably wouldn’t admit to it, Snowe thought that part of it might be loneliness. The rune being changed was definitely a factor, but Lazlo was more social than most people would guess from his quiet ways. Maybe he was coming to realize that too.

“If it’s all right for me to ask, who else saved you from the rune?” Snowe asked while they were eating dinner. The crabs here had a different kind of taste, but he could get to like it. And there was something refreshing about eating a meal like this, out on the beach while watching the sun set. This island was uncivilized, but it could be nice too.

“Most everyone had some part in it, even if it was small,” Lazlo said. “Too many to thank, really.”

“Most people want to than you for helping to make the islands safer,” he said. Tales of his heroic leadership were already being inflated by word of mouth. Snowe wondered how many people would recognize Lazlo now, outside of those who’d worked directly with him.

“It evens out, so that’s fine,” he said. “But there are also those who were absorbed by the Rune of Punishment. I had to put their souls to rest and got to see pieces of their lives in the process. Including my mother.”

That was the most surprising thing Snowe had heard today, even more than hearing about the feelings that he kept silent on. “Are you sure? There were no signs of who you might have been, since you washed up on Razril so young.”

Normally, Lazlo was calm and stoic, hardly showing emotions. There was something longing and wistful to his eyes right now. “Yeah, I could tell by how she hugged me. There are some clues of who I could have been, actually. Not long before I showed up on Razil, the queen of Obel died when she used the Rune of Punishment; her son was lost to sea during the incident. I’m sure that’s what I saw when I met my mother’s spirit.”

“Wait, but then you’d be Lino’s son,” he said. Now that he thought about it, there were similarities between Lino and Lazlo. “Have you talked with him about that?”

He shook his head. “No. He mentioned one time that his son would be my age once, which started me thinking about that. But I never had a good moment to bring it up when I was more sure about it. It’d be hard to talk about, especially since I’d have to tell him of how I met her through the rune and...” he closed his eyes. Someone else might not think he was upset, but Snowe could see it in him.

“I think you should still tell him,” Snowe said, smiling and hoping that he was encouraging. “Maybe it’d be a hard thing to prove, but it’d be great for you to have a family again. Especially with that family being Lino and Flare, they’ve been helping me out some even when others were still wary of me for what I’ve done.”

“They are good people,” Lazlo said, cheering up in his quiet manner. “Though I wouldn’t like getting roped back into politics if it comes out that my father is the king of Obel.”

“I’d take politics as Lino handles it over any other kind,” he said, which was enough to make Lazlo chuckle. “Come on, we can go over quietly and not make a big fuss out of it. I’m sure they’d understand. I know they’d be happy to see you again even without that news; a lot of people would but they want to respect your wishes.”

“There are some people I would like to see again,” he said. “Though I could be happy just to stay here with you. I’ve got a nice beach house here. Once the garden really gets going, we wouldn’t need much from anywhere else.”

“I guess I could get used to that too,” Snowe said. “But would you really rather stay here alone, even just with me, or find your family and have your life be more than this island?”

He rubbed his hands together again. “I hope there won’t be another war involved. If we keep things quiet, it should be fine to travel around again. Maybe get a small boat… keep this place home, but still be able to go out and do things when we feel like it.”

“We’ll be fine sticking together, wherever we go and whatever we do,” he said, which was enough to dissolve Lazlo’s worry for now and make him smile.

Even though he had made something of a fool of himself earlier, Snowe’s main reason for wanting to come here was to do what he could to make Lazlo happy. He felt like he’d been a burden to his friend in the past, something he felt even more guilty over as his hidden feelings because stronger. He hadn’t imagined that part of making him happy included helping Lazlo reunite with his lost family. But since the possibility was there, Snowe didn’t want him to accept it in silence.

He didn’t have to be a smooth romantic star to make Lazlo happy; he just had to be here and be honest with him. And it would make him happier to have a family too. Snowe promised to himself that he’d make sure that Lazlo would get what he deserved, to be happy.

Although, “Do you think Lino would be okay with us being together and learning the truth?”

Lazlo was even happier at that question and took Snowe’s hand. “I’m sure he’d have an open mind about us.”


End file.
